Arrival: A Communication Masterclass

A Hollywood sci-fi blockbuster about the arrival of aliens, with a glittering cast list, might not sound like a promising starting point for a post on mediation and dispute resolution, but bear with me.

For those who haven’t seen the film, and without too many plot-spoilers, it begins with the arrival of gigantic objects in the sky in various locations across the world and introduces two mysterious extra-terrestrial visitors whose purpose and intent is unclear.

Much of the early part of the film focuses on a simple question: how do you even begin to have a conversation where there is no common vocabulary? How do you communicate and build understanding when you don’t share a common language? What follows is a powerful exploration of language, meaning and communication, and how language itself affects our perception of the world

The analogy with mediation may not be immediately obvious, but enabling effective communication and building understanding across a divide is at the very heart of what we do as mediators and dispute resolvers.  Language, how we use it and the words we choose to use, is central to that.

We see a veritable masterclass of classic mediation techniques at play in the film:

 

• Checking understanding,

• Clarifying meaning,

• Not making assumptions about what others mean or intend,

• Challenging assumptions and interpretations (our own and those of others),

• Double checking meaning and intention,

• Identifying where there are differences and nuances in understanding,

• Clarifying intentions,

• Clarifying offers,

• Ensuring that there is a common understanding,

• Building on that common understanding to move a conversation forward.

 

Most of all being curious and not taking words at face value.

Some of the danger and inflection points in the film mirror those often seen in disputes when decisions are made based on mistrust, unchallenged assumptions and incomplete information.  The jeopardy often comes as a result of the failure to clarify meaning or to identify, and understand, what lies behind the words that are being used, or the offer being made.  These danger points require a doubling down on curiosity, and the asking of questions that can help clarify meaning and intention.

It’s also a film that is fluent in the language of negotiation.  The difference between a “compromise”, a “win-win” and the concept of “non-zero-sum game” is embedded in the narrative.  There is a suggestion of giving something of value to encourage reciprocity, and that this is a “non-zero-sum game” with the potential for an outcome where everyone can gain.  This is familiar territory for mediators.

One of the key themes of the film is that language, and the way in which we communicate, influences our perception and understanding of the world.  In mediation, as in the film, language can be powerful in shaping our worldview.

One of the film’s central characters makes the comparison between teaching a language through a game of chess rather than using words.  She notes that if you learnt to communicate through chess every conversation would be a game, every idea would be expressed through opposition, defeat and victory.  In many ways the language of games,  a proxy for the language of war, is also the language of litigation and disputes.  The litigation process is also essentially oppositional and binary in its outcomes.  As a result we talk about sides, opposing parties and winners and losers.  The language we use to describe and discuss the process can affect how we perceive it. That can affect how we approach it.  That in turn can have an impact on the outcome.

To quote the film, language is the foundation of civilisation and the glue that holds people together, but it’s also the first weapon drawn in a conflict. Consider this an invitation to think about the language that you use when managing conflict and dealing with disputes; how our choice of words can affect outcomes either positively or negatively.

Language can be used as a weapon, a means of attack and fuel for conflict.  It can also be a tool.  The skilled use of that tool can build understanding and trust.  Language has the ability to shape our reality.  Choose your words wisely.

 

Gill Mansfield FCIArb is a full-time commercial mediator and dispute resolver with IPOS Mediation (and a part-time film enthusiast and self-confessed sci-fi geek).